Meds and Therapy - 2009
03/28/09 14:48 Filed in: Personal Updates
I receive recurring questions about my medications and it is impossible to answer them repeatedly. This is a current summary of my medications and therapy and present. Please also review my Meds and Therapy section.
Medication:
I take 200 mg of Lamictal (lamotrigine) a day. It an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer that helps me have less fear about the DP/DR and has evened out my mood, though I am not bipolar (it may address some minor Borderline tendencies that I have had in the past).
I take 2 mg of Klonopin (clonazepam) 3 times a day, and have since 1987. That is 6 mg a day. I have never abused it. It is the one medication (also an old anticonvulsant which ironically came out in 1975) that truly helped my DP/DR ... a lot. I would say it saved my life.
Klonopin, though it is a benzodiazepine, is VERY different from Ativan, Valium, Xanax, etc. I have tried on most of these over the years and they have done NOTHING for me. They have been like sugar pills. Klonopin is the ONLY benzo to have touched the DP/DR -- dramatically. But it is no cure, and I don't wish to increase the dose. Klonopin is long-acting and gives me no "immediate relief." It is a baseline foundation for control of the chronic DP/DR.
I take 40 mg of Celexa (citalopram) an SSRI for depression and anxiety. To be honest, I don't know how I would do without it (I have considered stopping it -- SLOWLY), but studies show SSRIs help with anxiety, and research at the IoP indicates that the "Klono-Combo" seems effective in helping with chronic DP/DR. (The "combo" is Klonopin with an SSRI.)
I am concerned with "rocking the boat" and am truly tired of experimenting with medications.
I use the generic for all three and notice no difference in generic vs. name brand ... and generic is of course far less expensive.
I am frequently tired, but I was always tired even as a child -- and it sometimes felt in my youth as if I were drugged (yet I was never on any medications in those years). I believe the tiredness and lack of motivation stem from a degree of hopelessness re: my chronic DP/DR and anxiety, and my inability to fully participate in normal activities most people take for granted. I also have few side effects with medications.
Brief trials in the past with antipsychotics made the DP/DR HORRIBLE -- absolutely unbearable. I do not wish to try ANY modern antipsychotic ... such as Abilify. That terrifies me. Many psychiatrists have suggested I try this and I have refused every time.
Some DP sufferers however have found relief on Abilify. Remember this is MY experience alone and I am not suggesting that anyone reading this take any of these medications; they work for ME.
We are all unique.
Therapy:
I am trying, in 2009, one last time to apply CBT and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) to help control my debilitating anxiety.
I am seeing an ACSW (Clinical Social Worker) once a week who is very well versed (far more than any psychiatrist these days) in my situation. She actually understands what DP is! I am making one more try at feeling less of a failure, of reducing anxiety by exposing myself to more social situations (I have become quite isolated). One critical thing is working to cease comparing myself to past friends/peers who have become very successful or have children.
The goal is to simply accept myself as "good enough." I judge myself mercilessly. These are the psychological scars of my upbringing. I can't say they brought on the DP and anxiety, but they clearly exacerbated it.
I have yet come to accept who I am and what I have lost.
I take 200 mg of Lamictal (lamotrigine) a day. It an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer that helps me have less fear about the DP/DR and has evened out my mood, though I am not bipolar (it may address some minor Borderline tendencies that I have had in the past).
I take 2 mg of Klonopin (clonazepam) 3 times a day, and have since 1987. That is 6 mg a day. I have never abused it. It is the one medication (also an old anticonvulsant which ironically came out in 1975) that truly helped my DP/DR ... a lot. I would say it saved my life.
Klonopin, though it is a benzodiazepine, is VERY different from Ativan, Valium, Xanax, etc. I have tried on most of these over the years and they have done NOTHING for me. They have been like sugar pills. Klonopin is the ONLY benzo to have touched the DP/DR -- dramatically. But it is no cure, and I don't wish to increase the dose. Klonopin is long-acting and gives me no "immediate relief." It is a baseline foundation for control of the chronic DP/DR.
I take 40 mg of Celexa (citalopram) an SSRI for depression and anxiety. To be honest, I don't know how I would do without it (I have considered stopping it -- SLOWLY), but studies show SSRIs help with anxiety, and research at the IoP indicates that the "Klono-Combo" seems effective in helping with chronic DP/DR. (The "combo" is Klonopin with an SSRI.)
I am concerned with "rocking the boat" and am truly tired of experimenting with medications.
I use the generic for all three and notice no difference in generic vs. name brand ... and generic is of course far less expensive.
I am frequently tired, but I was always tired even as a child -- and it sometimes felt in my youth as if I were drugged (yet I was never on any medications in those years). I believe the tiredness and lack of motivation stem from a degree of hopelessness re: my chronic DP/DR and anxiety, and my inability to fully participate in normal activities most people take for granted. I also have few side effects with medications.
Brief trials in the past with antipsychotics made the DP/DR HORRIBLE -- absolutely unbearable. I do not wish to try ANY modern antipsychotic ... such as Abilify. That terrifies me. Many psychiatrists have suggested I try this and I have refused every time.
Some DP sufferers however have found relief on Abilify. Remember this is MY experience alone and I am not suggesting that anyone reading this take any of these medications; they work for ME.
We are all unique.
Therapy:
I am trying, in 2009, one last time to apply CBT and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) to help control my debilitating anxiety.
I am seeing an ACSW (Clinical Social Worker) once a week who is very well versed (far more than any psychiatrist these days) in my situation. She actually understands what DP is! I am making one more try at feeling less of a failure, of reducing anxiety by exposing myself to more social situations (I have become quite isolated). One critical thing is working to cease comparing myself to past friends/peers who have become very successful or have children.
The goal is to simply accept myself as "good enough." I judge myself mercilessly. These are the psychological scars of my upbringing. I can't say they brought on the DP and anxiety, but they clearly exacerbated it.
I have yet come to accept who I am and what I have lost.