If You're Working Now

I don't feel fully qualified to fill in this section, though I know there are so many of you out there coping with depersonalization on the job. I salute you and I would appreciate input from those of you who are in the workforce now.

I am not gainfully employed at this time, I simply cannot tolerate it, and though I have never been fired from a job in my life, I am terrified at the prospect; that fear causes severe anticipatory anxiety which then gives me severe DP. My "work" now is my writing, Mental Health Advocacy, and I am a student of website design. At this time I know for certain I need to be in a "solo" occupation, though this may change with time. I honestly don't know.

I would like to point out the importance of being a parent. I consider being a mother or a father a full-time job, even if you have a "real" full-time job as well. There is nothing more important than helping a child achieve his or her full potential -- whatever that is.

I find it terribly painful I have no children. Again, so many of you with DP do. If you are loving those children unconditionally you are doing your job (and more). I salute all of you parents out there as well.

Obviously those with work and family have routine and stability and have worked very hard to achieve those gifts. I admit I am both envious and thrilled by those who have overcome DP or have been able to have full lives. You are an example to everyone that DP/DR, depression, anxiety can be overcome and that life can be lived to its fullest. You are testimony that there is hope for all of us.

If You Are In School Or University Now

It may not seem like it, but you're in a great situation -- as long as you take advantage of the wonderful supportive community a school or university can be. You may be struggling, but you don't have to isolate yourself or fight this alone. There is no shame in asking for the help and support available. I made the mistake of continuing to keep my illness a secret in school, and it only made things more difficult.

You already have the benefit of routine. You have a regular schedule and some immediate goals -- don't worry about the future either, one day at a time.

You have a tremendous support system. Your school environment has provided fellow struggling students, dorm-mates, roommates, at no extra cost and not much effort. If you aren't living in an apartment, you've got three square meals a day without having to think about it; eat!

You have access to Student Health and Disability Services. Most schools and colleges have these at your disposal, either free or low-cost. Do not feel it is a "cop-out" to take advantage of these services. There should be some form of psychological counseling service and an academic counseling office no matter where you are. If you are having trouble with classes, homework, coping, these are the places to go.

Know your limitations. Don't take a full course load if you feel you can't handle it. There's no need to "keep up" with everyone else. Find an academic counselor find a good one and stick with him or her to get personal attention.

You are eligible to receive special services for all disabilities including mental illness -- you should not be discriminated against, this should not hurt your academic record in any way. You may be able to work out a program of taking courses at your own speed, taking independent study, or working with a tutor.

With psychological counseling you have someone to talk to. Don't isolate yourself. Health services can refer you to therapists of all kinds to get you on the proper medications, or to find someone to help you cope.

Lean on people -- real friends (chosen wisely) and confide in them. Life at university for me was a godsend. The routine, friends, food, entertainment, they're all provided for you. You aren't out in "the real world" yet. I didn't realize this until I graduated. Try to participate in things you enjoy. Realize that everyone has struggles and you will be surprised at how many friends may not understand all that you're going through, but who are willing to listen. I wish I had known how many friends I could have turned to as a young adult, but I was ashamed.

Please do not feel ashamed. You have a medical illness. You are a human being. There are compassionate people out there -- lean on them.

Continuing Education

Take courses at a local university or community college in anything you'd really enjoy learning more about.

I have studied everything from computer programming to figure drawing, music, anthropology, mythology, and more. Enroll for "no credit" or "audit" so you feel no pressure about a grade. There are courses offered online as well.

Volunteer

When I work in a non-paying position, I feel less pressure that I "must" show up with a "professional façade" and suffer from a constant/chronic fear of getting fired. I have never been fired from a job, yet the very thought of it increases my stress level and hence my DP.

Get A Pet

Especially a low maintenance pet such as a cat. The key is distraction and routine. You will be forced to care for your critter which gives you purpose. A dog is obviously more work, but any pet can be an unconditionally loving companion. A dog can get you out of the house for some exercise as well.

Slow Down

My DP is guaranteed to worsen if I don't leave plenty of time to accomplish something or to make a class or appointment. The more rushing around, the more things seem to blur together. I don't need to explain that for me Rushing=Stress=DP.

I tend to be rather "hyper" to begin with. I feel I need to "entertain" others. I find myself wearing myself in this manner. Go about your daily activities at your own pace. And just be yourself. I have to make a conscious effort to do this on a regular basis.

Human Contact

Sometimes I am astounded at how much better I feel once I have forced myself to go to a social occasion or merely meet a friend for lunch. I may be initially overwhelmed with anticipatory anxiety and DP, but often, after having spent time in a social situation I begin to relax and again become distracted. I'm not saying this is easy. Over the years I have become increasingly isolated and I know this only reinforces itself and the fear of social interaction. At least give it a try. It may be far easier for different individuals. We are all so unique.

If You Have Suicidal Thoughts, Get Help Now

Many times I've felt I could not continue feeling seriously DPd/DRd and depressed. Yet, I am here to tell you I have found the right medications, therapy, and new goals -- things that make me far more enthusiastic about living a productive life. I know I am far better than I was 20 years ago. I am not cured, but had I not waited for current advances in medicine, neuropsychiatry and psychopharmacology, I would be missing out on a lot of wonderful things life has to offer.

Please know I have been through this myself many times ... you may want to give up, but literally give yourself time to feel less hopeless. Time can give you a new perspective. Sometimes after a good night's sleep you can see the world anew. I beg of you to hold on, get help, and give yourself time.

Remember your resources and lean on them. Do not keep your feelings secret from family, a close friend, your doctor, your therapist. They are all there to help.

Also every phonebook in the United States (to the best of my knowledge) has a local Suicide Hotline. There are Mental Health Crisis Intervention numbers in many communities. There are Local Hospitals you can call. And barring all else, you can call 9-1-1.

It might be a good idea to keep such numbers by the phone as well as the names of friends -- just to remind yourself they are out there. Just knowing your options is sometimes enough to keep you going. I still encourage you to reach out. You will always be surprised by the compassion of others.

Suicide is never your first option. Please remember that. Reach out before you do anything rash, no matter how frightened or miserable you feel. I can say this as I have been on the edge, many times. To this day, I am glad that each time I chose to stay around.